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MOP 2003 Quotes

No!! I seem to have lost Ricky B.'s list of quotes. So this list is currently much shorter than it should be. But it will have to do for now, I guess... —Anders
 
"The only piece I know how to move is the horsey."
Shery Gong
 
"You never know... I could just be a dumbass again."
Nathan Pflueger
 
Rocco Repetski: "We need nicknames. TMildorf, the terminator."
Ricky Biggs: "Agent Ric..."
Rocco Repetski: "[FIXME: unreadable]"
Rocco et. al, on the adventure of a lifetime
 
"I've got it completely under control..."
Ricky Biggs, on his dripping ice cream, of which two thirds promptly fell on the ground
 
[spinning a frisbee] "Ooh... this is a nice spinnable one." [proceeding to drop the frisbee] "Not 0 percent though."
Yan Zhang
 
"Perform a perversion on A..."
Nate Ince, during team contest 1
 
"Oh, it's the right hand side? Sorry, I am left handed."
Jongmin Baek
 
Robert Cordwell: "We should play poker."
Zuming Feng: "We could bet on MOP points."
 
Alison Miller: "We really need a Scrabble dictionary."
Ricky Biggs: "I think we need an English dictionary first."
during an Anagrams game
 
"I think I'm becoming a math crackpot."
Yan Zhang
 
"Given three statements, two of them are equivalent."
Boris Alexeev
 
"I don't understand what you don't understand."
Gregory Galperin, to Tony Zhang
 
"They're complex prisoners."
Daniel Kane, about "Prizoners"
 
Gregory Galperin: "What happens at this point?"
Anders Kaseorg: "It's undefined."
Ricky Biggs: "It's a moot point."
 
"You have a billiard table."
Gregory Galperin, drawing a circle
 
"You construct 1000 right triangles with bases 1001 through 2000, and walk along all the hypotenuses. If you're stupid enough to do this, you must obviously be irrational, and you're done."
Anders Kaseorg, on (10012 + 1) + (10022 + 1) + ... + (20002 + 1) Q
 
Rocco Repetski: "If Joe Schmoe gets a 42 [at the IMO], would I get to look at his solutions?"
Anders Kaseorg: "It wouldn't do you any good because Joe Schmoe is from China."
 
Daniel Kane: "Why did you write three terms on one side and two terms on the other?"
Ian Le: "Cause I'm biased."
on x1 + x2 + ... xn = 1/x1 + 1/x2 + 1/x3 + ... 1/xn
 
"3 Reid/(y2 + Reid y) > 1."
Matt Ince
 
"How hard could six be? I can count them on one hand if I use my tounge."
Rocco Repetski, playing Don't Come in to My House
 
Yan Zhang: "Some of the molecules in my body might have once belonged to Cauchy."
...
Yan Zhang: "There must be some object in the universe that has the highest concentration of Cauchy molecules."
Daniel Kane: "Yeah, like his corpse?"
...
Yan Zhang "If you ever read a headline that says, 'Idiot digs up Chinese mathematician's corpse," you can say that you knew me."
 
Gregory Galperin: "Will the polygon be covered by these semicircles?"
Daniel Kane: "I think it's missing about three points."
 
"You have AS and BS, right? You know lots of BS."
Zuming Feng
 
"You can't add."
Zuming Feng, to Tony Zhang, on non-absolutely-convergent sequences
 
"There can be multiple Nash equilibria. ... Take this situation: you have two doors, and behind both of them is a brick wall."
Boris Alexeev
 
"We have this tangent line that cuts D into three points... er! No! It cuts D into two angles."
Ian Le
 
"That looks like a square..."
Jongmin Baek, referring to a recently-constructed square
 
Daniel Kane: "He has 1-3 points left."
Reid Barton: "He also has 6-8 cards left."
during Bridge
 
"I have enough."
Yan Zhang, about scratch paper
 
"It's time to continue to mock the IMO. ... Ooh! Look at me! I'm the IMO!"
Daniel Kane
 
Melanie Wood: "Inversion is so much more exciting than lunch at Selleck."
Ricky Biggs: "It's probably more nutritious too."
 
Yan Zhang: "My family in Lithuania needs these points!"
Ricky Biggs: "Don't worry. We'll get the money, somehow."
Yan and Ricky, arguing over points.
 
"Russian Roulette is a win-win situation — either you win, or you miss the rest of Greg Galperin's lecture."
Ricky Biggs
 
"U Q /< L 23."
Anders Kaseorg and Daniel Kane
 
Zuming Feng: "So after Blair Kelly's lecture, you should all be able to read Dani's handwriting."
Alison Miller: "Or we could prove that reading Dani's handwriting is NP-complete."
 
"NEiL (the 1)"
Tony Zhang, beginning an inequality proof
 
"They were applied mathematicians, at best."
Kiran Kedlaya, discussing Ford-Fulkerson
 
"Let A be the sequence defined as follows:
  [apple], [pear], [orange], ...
Estimate
  a A a3 + adiced."
Alison Miller and Nate Ince
 
"Protractors of yours to the Japan taken should not be."
unknown
 
"Aah! Circles everywhere! Invert! Invert"
Ricky Biggs, watching the fireworks display
 
"These three terms murder each other."
Anders Kaseorg
 
Gregory Galperin: "Where were you?"
Sherry Gong: "In the bathroom...?"
Gregory Galperin: "No, where were you in here?"
during a Red group lecture
 
"Aagh! Three collinear Po's!"
Tony Zhang, walking down a hallway
 
"It must be possible because it's almost impossible to prove it's impossible."
Zuming Feng, describing insight to some difficult problem.
 
"MOP Test #1, when Mr. Kane became Mr. Able."
Thomas Mildorf, noting that Daniel Kane was one of few who perfected the first MOP test.
 
"I don't like obvious things."
Reid Barton
 
"You say it's locally a polynomial. Well, it's actually a polynomial."
Daniel Kane
 
Yan Zhang: "When do you use primitive roots?"
MOPper (?): "Whenever you have something you don't like."
 
Robert Cordwell: "It seems like you could use something like the continuous version of the pigeonhole principle."
Jongmin Baek: "With infinite pigeons?"
 
Melanie Wood: "Inversion is so much more exciting than lunch at Selleck."
Ricky Liu: "Probably more nutritious, too."
 
"So we assume for the sake of contradiction that we're unhappy."
Reid Barton
 
"I'm too lazy to send a point all the way to infinity."
Aaron Pixton

IMO Quotes

"That quote is not representative of all the crap I just said."
Yan Zhang
 
"I skipped a line."
speaker at the opening ceremony
 
"I think we have a minor problem... well, I guess it's more of a major problem."
Anders Kaseorg, finding creative ways to tabletalk in Bridge
 
"Don't Come in to My House combines the worst of Bridge and Mafia."
Anders Kaseorg
 
"Blam!"
Po-Ru Loh, repeatedly in Bridge
 
"Blahm!"
Po-Ru Loh, having suddenly acquired a "Mahssachusetts Ahccent".
 
Mark Lipson: [leading a card] "Questions?"
Aaron, Po-Ru, Daniel: "No."
Mark Lipson: "Yeah, why am I playing that?"
 
"Queen or Jack... more specifically Queen xor Jack."
Daniel Kane
 
"I should have cheated."
Yan Zhang
 
"Oops! I made a mistake." [starts doing push-ups]
Peter Frankl the juggler, during his show
 
Yan Zhang: "My fan majorizes your fan."
Aaron Pixton: "Why?"
Yan Zhang: "Because they're equal."
 
"Four no squid."
Anders Kaseorg
 
"No games in Disneyland."
Japanese cleaning lady, interrupting a Bridge game
 
"Hey, ignore the next thing that Dani says to you."
Anders Kaseorg
 
"It's the Yan-i-maniacs."
Po-Ru Loh
 
"I got PWNed by the door."
Yan Zhang
 
"I got PWNed by the wall."
Po-Ru Loh
 
Daniel Kane: "Wait, Po, you doubled because you expected to be able to set us?"
Po-Ru Loh: "Yes."
Daniel Kane: "That's new."

Absurd IMO Bridge Bids

Po-Ru: 2 spades; pass; Mark: 4 spades; pass; Po-Ru: 6 spades
Result: made 6
 
Anders: 2 N.T.; pass; Po-Ru: 6 clubs
Result: made 7
 
Po-Ru: 4 spades; pass; Anders: 4 N.T.; pass; Po-Ru: 6 spades
Result: set 1
 
... Daniel: 5 N.T.; Anders: pass; Aaron: 6 diamonds; Po-Ru: double; Daniel: 6 spades
Daniel: "Okay, my trump support isn't that great..." [with a singleton 3 of spades]
Result: incredibly enough, made 6
 
Po-Ru: 1 diamond; pass; Mark: 4 diamonds; pass; Po-Ru: 7 diamonds
Result: set 1
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