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Happy Belated Birthday to King George [insert favorite p-adic number]

Sadly no one has messages at the Neihardt desk. Possibilities of nuclear winter outside Nebraska are being discussed.

We apologize for the fake fake announcements apparently distributed yesterday by Piper 4. They were not authorized and may be a form of communist propaganda. With that said, any questions or submissions should be directed to Piper 3.

The $620 prize was claimed last night by a group of distraught MOPers who proved the conjecture by the dumbass method, splitting it into twenty-seven separate cases and ending up with a proof four times longer than that of the Four-Color Theorem. A counterexample was provided four hours later by the mathematics department of the University of Nebraska at Lincoln.

A lost nametag has been found at yesterday's three-legged race. Please come to Neihardt Desk to claim it.

In accordance with Chuck's ordinance to maintain high blood pressure, we will meet today at 7 pm in the blue room for a mandatory cholesterol injection.

The American Math Competitions believes that this year's expansion of MOP has been a great success. Due to this, and an extremely generous donation from Philip Morris, all participants in the AMC10 and the AMC12 will be invited to MOP next year, "because Philip Morris cares."

We would like to remind all MOPers that lynching on campus is strictly prohibited. However, you are more than welcome to take certain persons who falsely yell "ice cream" off campus and lynch them there.

MOP extends its gratitude to Zuming, who was the only person to participate in the bring your parent to lunch day yesterday. Chengde Feng received a free trip across 16th street to participate in the event by scoring a perfect on Zuming's contest. Other results were homogeneous and will not be announced to keep up the happy holiday feelings.

The food service personnel have asked us to announce that in order to alleviate the mess problems in the cafeteria our meals will be served in bed starting tomorrow.

We sadly announce that Chuck Straley will be unavailable for the rest of MOP. After yesterday's fireworks, he drove along 16th street looking for jaywalkers and to his great amazement found out that some MOPers are indeed tougher than a 30 mph car. The remains of Chuck's car have been put up as an exhibit at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.

Today's Duty Team is:
Duty Superviser: Po-Ling Loh
Piper 1-2 Dorm Monitor: Po-Ru Loh
Piper 3-4 Monitor: Po-Shen Loh

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