ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR Thursday, 7/4/02

Happy Birthday: King George [insert favorite p-adic number]

The following people have messages at Neihardt Desk: Alice Cauchy-Schwartz, Bob Jensen, and Cindy Chebychev. We will sadly be unable to deliver the messages as they may contain Communist propaganda.

Congratulations to Tiankai Liu, Po-Ruh Loh, Ricky Liu, Daniel Kane, Tongke Xue, Anders Kaseorg and alternate Allison Miller. They are the winners of the arm wrestling contest that will be held today afternoon and will be attending the IMO in Scotland. On a sidenote, the long-anticipated match-up between Leibniz and Newton ended in a draw.

There will be a guest lecturer Dan Quayle presenting the Pigeonhole Principle and how it relates to inversion in N-space in Yellow C tomorrow. We wish them luck.

The food service employees at Selleck have decided that the rest of our meals will be served in bed in order to alleviate the mess problems in the cafeteria.

A p-adic number has been found written out in its entirety along O Street. Chuck has requested that the person who left such subtle evidence of going beyond limits leave MOP due to ridiculous stupidity, if he or she is not executed first.

A lost nametag has been found at the site of yesterday's picnic. If you think it might be yours, contact the Neihardt desk.

The team contest yesterday was a great success. However, the football camp at UNL appears to have an entry requirement of weight being higher than USAMO index. Those who do not fit this criterion will be executed.

There will consequently be a power outage tomorrow during the fireworks to operate the electric chair. We will have to use manual power to operate the fireworks. Any proven theorems to turn brain power into electricity should be submitted to Chuck. The first submission from those to be executed will be considered for parole.

Today's duty team:
Duty Supervisor: Zvezdelina Stankova
Piper 1-2 Dorm Monitor: Andrew Wiles
Piper 3-4 Monitor: Po-Shen Loh

Have a great day!