FG/2.0 Title: MOP 2000 Field Guide #front
Lightning flashes in the sunny Nebraska skies...
Rabbits look up and flee in terror...
Cars screech to a halt in 16th Street...
We're back!!! It's that time of year again: MOPper season! After a year of hibernation in cities across America, this breed of elevator-riding, rock/paper/scissors-playing, coordinates-crunching problem solvers pack up their belongings and gather in exotic Nebraska to wreak havoc for a month.
Over the past years, the MOPper population has held stable at around 30 people; but with only four females, their risk of extinction is greater than ever. How can you help? In the interest of protecting MOP for future generations, the University of Lincoln, Nebraska has prepared this field guide to help you identify MOPpers so you can take them under your wing — but be warned, they can be vicious and have been known to pour Blazing™ sauce down predators' throats. Enjoy!
>> ENTER <<
Welcome to MOP!
TOP | MOP | GASTROPOD#2
TOP | MOP | BERKELEY MATH CIRCLE#3
TOP | MOP | KEVIN BROWN#4
If he has an ARML shirt that says at least one person on his team is better than everybody else (and he defected from the S. F. Bay Area A Team), talks in a soft voice, tutored the cafeteria worker and played chess with him too, solved the yucky #1 on the Mock IMO using "designs," and worked on Bulgaria #3 with Zvezda and David Shin, then he's Jeremy Tauzer!
TOP | MOP | NOVAKOVSKI#6
If he wrote the evil triangle dissection problem on MOP Test 10, created a rusty compass construction problem, bought soda during the TSE and fell asleep too, was voted one of the nicest people at MOP, teaches at the University of Michigan, was on the Romanian IMO team in 1985, and left MOP after two weeks, then he's Razvan Gelca!
TOP | MOP | ONION#8
TOP | MOP | MANDELBROT#9
TOP | MOP | ZENO#10
If he's a MOPper who was part of Massachusetts Delight, knew how to find the stadium and the echo place, greets everybody with "Heeeey...," was the evil Elbonian coordinator for ELMO #4 ("One-Player G'luck"), bleeds red ink on his socks, got up late (showering and eating breakfast on alternate days), came to MOP late because of graduation, is going to Stanford next year, organized Wing Nights, ended up losing ten dollars every time, is the target of his mother's juggling balls, is often seen juggling, added two balls to his end-of-proof symbol when he became a seven-ball juggler and had his juggling balls used as spoons, wanted to know if Zuming would hatchet a dog to death, wrote a marathon with Reid on Computational Complexity, knows "big" and "exit" in Chinese, returned a borrowed belt after an entire year, couldn't believe the Greek place was closed, plays squash, and can jump really high, then he's Paul Valiant!
If he wears the Missing Link shirt (it keeps missing and missing and missing...), lives in Kansas, has philosophical discussions about religion, scraped up his knee during MOP, visited his home during MOP, rooms with Reid (and was all alone for a week when Reid went to USACO), likes parodies of songs like "The Saga Begins," likes to play chess and gets mad when he loses, is a good piano player (Scott Joplin — "Entertainer," "Easy Winners," etc.; "Mission: Impossible," "Jurassic Park"), had a birthday-and-a-day, says "I do not talk too much I do not talk too much I do not talk too much," and is one of the three most-killed Mafia players, then he's Jeffrey Amos!
If she was one of the four females at MOP, was the target of Oaz-related questions in Psychiatrist, had a room on the third floor with Alison, lifted people up and carried them around, wrestled Oaz and Melanie with Alison's help, has a cool green blanket, help tally votes for the Hall of Fame, sat under the table at ARML, wants to go to Cal Tech, meows all the time, has a sign-language name that means "knife-wielding maniac" and was voted "Most Likely to Kill a Man," and ran around with George, Melanie, and Andrew with big sticks while everybody else played frisbee, then she's Shuang You and, yes, she should get those USAMO pamphlets!
get born again#13
TOP | MOP | WHEN PROBLEMS ATTACK!#14
If he got the only perfect score on ELMO, had an amazing foot proof on the last MOP test with a 1.0 style, is a king of Anagrams, has contradicting blivits as his end-of-proof symbol, plays bridge, made up the phrase "Use the horse, Luke," plays fake inspectors [Sluts, that is. - Ed.] during Mafia, introduced the return of the happy red beverage, and plays Bughouse a lot, then he's Mike Hamburg!
be kind, rewind#15
TOP | MOP | MIKE KEITH#16
TOP | MOP | TOOZEDAY KOMIX#17
TOP | MOP | SLOANE#18
TOP | MOP | GENERATINGFUNCTIONOLOGY#19
TOP | MOP | XAH LEE#20
Watch the video again! (Check out Gabriel's fish act, too.) Return back to step one.
TOP | MOP | BOING BOING#21
TOP | MOP | JOE FRANK#22
If he made Diplomacy popular with other MOPpers, lost both of his Diplomacy boards, has more than 1000 new messages in his inbox (Diplomacy ones, of course), has big poofy curly hair, has a goofy-face-with-a-sticking-out-tongue end-of-proof symbol, habitually loses his shoes, had a 14-page proof to the Egg Problem titled The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, has a roommate he calls Mario, didn't come to MOP last year because he went hiking, plays MOP and made up the "Season's Greetings" rule, suggested forming a search-Andreescu party when Titu was late to class, was ELMO 3, was a member of the S. F. Bay Area ARML Team, really wanted to do the "cup" thing at ARML, stays up very, very late (and ends up being late for class), does strange things in Cather elevators, beat Oaz by one point on a math final, is a self-declared nerd, thinks that MOP is a nerd paradise, is an incredibly unreadable player in Mafia (even Yan can't get him), and always comes to MOP tests by banging on the back door of room 102 and interrupting vet lectures, then he's Josh Burton!
TOP | MOP | FIGHT HUNGER#24
If this MOPper proved Bulgaria #3 with Oaz for Fermat primes, doesn't think that she can be made from a linear combination of MOPpers without using a lot of negative signs, explained the kamikaze "Drink" strategy and knows the winning strategy for "bidding tic-tac-toe," plays copycat and tabletop, likes to create puzzles for MOPpers to figure out (MOP score correlations; Alison Ordering; Adam, George, Jennie, Maria, Melanie; and Oaz vs. George), gave a sleepy explanation of Abel sums for MOP Test #10, believes people don't look at each other like mirrors (she'll touch her left cheek if you have food on your left cheek), had her heart racing in Psychiatrist, tells the IMO teams to break out in coughing fits to distract the other teams if they finish early, calls Aerobies "whooshes," is a woman (not a girl), doesn't have USAMO scores in her underwear drawer but does have penguins, is fussy over configuration problems, thinks that the IMO suits should be dark suits and sunglasses, loves Z/(2Z), likes water polo (a lot!), made the last IMO test in memory of George and Paul, was inspired by a Spaghetti Works math book ("Math should be studied from boyhood..." "Prove 8 is composite using Wilson's Theorem"), doesn't understand people's obsessions with heading back to the dorm and watching videos during MOP, knows that Lincoln movies don't play after 10:00, spent hours taking pictures for her Discover article, dragged people to see Boys and Girls instead of Shaft, and gets into tiffs with the administration over the Pine Room, then she's Melanie Wood!
If he planned to bleach his hair but chickened out, lost his wallet while in D. C. (a whole $150), is very single and available (phone number: 408 861 0401 — call him sometime), wanted Alex to get him into "The Zoo," plays water polo (a subject of much discussion by Melanie), didn't get much sleep in Las Vegas, convinced the Clay Math guy that the USAMO winners had proven the Riemann Hypothesis (as was announced at the awards banquet), wandered around in Dupont Circle and wonders what the green stuff on copper is called, really looked forward to AG-AM but was disappointed that they actually studied, was always Mafia, wonders if he'll fall out windows at ARML, has an antisocial cat, played "Oh Hell" upstairs, hung out a lot in the girls' room, went to the gym with Ian, skipped MOP '99 and went to USACO camp instead, refuses to go to Stanford (Ha! Take that, Paul!), was upset over the Turkey-style grading of an IMO test, argues with Melanie over configuration problems, comments on people's obsessions with feet, discusses the sexual innuendoes in the Spaghetti Works menu (hot-naked sauce, orgy of delight, three-way pasta), and made up "Gentleman's Club" on the RTC, he's Oaz (Orange) Nir!
Find a pogo stick and hop on over here.
TOP | MOP | USAMTS#27
TOP | MOP | TIM NGUYEN#28
Sorry, you're wrong. There are no references to Jell-O in the Communist Manifesto; but maybe there's some in Elmonia.
TOP | MOP | DAVIS SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL COMMUNIST MANIFESTO#30
If he can be found thinking about his foot, has spoons in his room and plays games with spoons and forks, had the rookies begging him for a juggling lecture, rebels against the Neihardt front desk, explains the "Melanie is being slow" card in the game Twitch, makes his name out of garlic bread and turns the "N" to spell "Oaz," liked the IMO team's red suits in 1997, says American Beauty is his favorite movie, believes in maximizing happiness, is the inventor of the famous "Blue Strategy" in the Color-Country game, played a traumatic Psychiatrist game at MOP 1997, explored old sheets of math scratch work while waiting for his spaghetti, says, "That's kind of sketchy," and makes jokes about his last name, then he's Dan Stronger!! and he's two for two!
TOP | MOP | RED MEAT#32
If he intimidates other MOPpers, wears distinctive striped shirts, solved quadratics in 5, kept the USAMO papers in his garage, inducted on curfew, wrote a generating functions Team Effort, has a wife who is now a U. S. citizen and a son named T3 (not really — but he's the next T2), was the object of a search-Andreescu mission, asks his students to "do me a favor and just try Cauchy-Schwarz for five minutes," copies pages from his old book about Popoviciu's Inequality, knows a really neat probability inequality, is famous for his "Treeg" lectures, knows over a hundred trig identities, has his inequalities stolen by Kiran, and appears three times in the MOP '99 logo but none this year, then he's Titu Andreescu!
If she organizes Math Circles and the Bay Area Math Olympiad, has a name that means "star" in Bulgarian, asked for a group picture of all the Californians, brings jalapeņo peppers to restaurants, eats Blazing chicken wings, wanted to see Chicken Run but couldn't, came to MOP late, has two beds on one side of her room, likes to play "Associations," has USAMO scores on her computer, gave a lecture on algebraic numbers that tied with Titu's "Treeg" for #1 lecture, likes to use complex numbers in geometry, and didn't give a lecture this year on Asymmetric Trig Inequalities, then she's Zvezdelina Stankova-Frenkel!
TOP | MOP | PAST USAMOS#35
TOP | MOP | ARML#36
TOP | MOP | TOM LEHRER#37
If he's from New York and hears gunshots every day, has a cool Brooklyn accent, has bad experiences taking math tests at Stuyvesant, had to go to the hospital for a fever and an ear infection, claimed to be Oaz when he got in trouble, IMs about the chances of winning a three-way duel, knows Lawrence (who really likes his problem on the Mandelbrot page but never told him why), wakes up late with his roommate David Shin, locked Gabriel out of his room in D. C., sits quietly in the corner of Piper Pit during Mafia, took a history final during MOP, finds many ways to sneak out of the dorm, had a perfect score on the Mandelbrot, and tried to throw juggling balls into the recycling can with Tiankai, then he's Kamaldeep (not Kalmadeep) Gandhi!
retrace your steps#38
If he is a 9th grader for Wisconsin, saw a museum with the three Po's, is known as the imaginary counterpart to another MOPper, lost his calculator once in Bancroft, can be found in the Selleck computer lab collecting coins with penguins and controlling mindless lemming-like fleas and blowing up cars with flamethrowers, and is quick with the Scrabble dictionary when playing Anagrams, then he's Yian Zhang!
run another lap#39
TOP | MOP | COMBINATORIAL GAME THEORY#40
TOP | MOP | BEN#41
TOP | MOP | THE INTEGRATOR#42
If he was "God" in Eleusis once, was another one of the Wisconsin guys, though Zvezda thought he was drunk when he was playing bridge, took a pillow during the RTC, swears "I am not Mafia!", always wears sandals, and is upset over the lack of late-night movies in Lincoln (none after 9:45 PM?!), then he's Chris Moore!
do that thang again#43
If he baked a pie for his mom once, memorized 376 digits of π, fixed digits of π, drew pies in class, and is obsessed with pies if you can't tell already... if he thinks Star Wars is better than Wallace and Gromit, ate lots of fruit during meals, made awesome origami animals on his dresser, goes to sleep either before nine or not at all, waves to people sharpening pencils during MOP tests, and has a name which, when spelled backwards, becomes Plots M. Divad, then he is
David Stolp pie guy!
"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy and wealthy and pi's!"
TOP | MOP | CUT-THE-KNOT#45
TOP | MOP | ABDUCTED?#46
If he has an evil clone named Zumbot, appears in problems as Mr. Fat, Mr. Taf, and :) 's living in Candyland eating jars of dried fruit because he has so much free time at MOP, gives the vets team effort after team effort after team effort, has his own language, "Zuminglish," tells MOPpers to "murderply" and "porve," likes Indian Mafia better than Mafia, can always spot who the Mafia are, tells MOPpers to get to sleep, and sits in on MOP test review sessions, then he's Zuming Feng!
If he owns more than ten screennames but doesn't know the passwords for all of them, gets mad at his roommate Yan for waking up early and going to bed late, enjoys warning people on IM, does MUDs where he mooches off everybody else's experience points and where he can't eat his own corpse, was an Elmonian at the ELMO, lent Ian detergent every time he needed it, was a runner-up for "most modest," and had "awesome blocking skills" (as Yan describes them) in Frisbee, then he's Alex Xue — if that is his real name!
TOP | MOP | GEOMETRY PROBLEM OF THE WEEK#49
If he poisons pigeons in the park, curses Microsoft while he types up the Hall of Fame, made the MOP logo (just like Lawrence!) based on his socks and inversion about O, has the most creative sock style and amazing typewriter handwriting, wears pajamas that make him look like a Dr. Seuss character, saw the pagan god in a bowl of cucumbers, wrote the parody of "Istanbul" named "MOSP with an S," had an xyz-Sacred Heart for an EOP, knows "Old Man from Nantucket" [I deny all knowledge of this. - Ed.], received a phone call from his "mother" in Oaz's room, sang a whole bunch of strange math songs with Andrew, is amazing at word games like Anagrams or Spook, and is understood by Oaz, then yes — he is the one, the only... Austin Shapiro!
discover your root#50
TOP | MOP | HIERARCHY OF THE ZUCCHINI PEOPLE#51
TOP | MOP | FRANK ZAPPA#52
If this MOPper grabs breakfast on the go every day, is fascinated by golden luggage-carriers in hotels, snoozed around during the last MOP test and the last test review session, says he sleeps underneath the back table of the bagel shop and ate twice there, had a backward hat near the beginning of MOP but now has hair like Tiankai, sharpens his pencils over and over again during MOP tests, wore four shirts at once, wants to know more about Chebyshev's inequality, advocates friendly noncompetitiveness and vegetarianism (although he tells Po-Ru he eats meat), looks in your underwear drawer ("No! Turn back! NO USAMO SCORES HERE!"), creates new wing flavors every week and buys hundreds of them (sadly, they are usually out of stock), makes MOP tests in memory of himself and others, went back home one day for graduation, wandered around Embassy Road in D. C. in the early hours of the morning and was sleep-deprived along with Oaz, stops the elevator in mid-air while exploring the building with Ricky, fights for pillows, invades Paul's/Ricky's room then sneaks back into his, tried to play Mao but failed miserably, clapped at the end of "Boys and Girls," and used an Elmonian (Romanian) accent during coordination, then he's George Lee!
If he won the USAMO ("Congratulations, you won the USAMO!") and wore a tie in D. C. (he "tied" with Ricky), has cool hair and cool shirts, wrote the Marathon on Computability with Paul, made a ton of rookie problems ("Power Tower," "A House," "Candyland Revisited"), worked on a chess-playing computer project, lends his hole-puncher to Ian, is the ideal Zeta function (but doesn't look like a duck), didn't get the big room this year (the Mikes did), plays the Waldstein in its entirety, has his signature forged on the MOP T-shirt, made the USACO camp and team and has a mom who put sodas in his bathtub, brings food for USAMO winners, and almost won the Best Mom award, then he's Reid Barton!
TOP | MOP | TIM KIRCHNER#55
Although he was not visible for most of MOP, those lucky enough to see him will remember him for the rest of their lives. He is the one and only Tom Cruise!
If he has an IMSA yearbook with many strange entries ("get wet while playing chess"?!!), still considers himself a Wisconsin person, made "Lots of Balls" (nine, to be precise) for the RTC, was one of the deadliest Bughouse players, made one calculator program that did relatively well in the Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament and another one to decide moves in Dice Chess, played chess in the computer lab, was a big advocate of coordinates' and the dumbass method's rights, was one of the many Liu's at MOP, and got low style on MOP tests and a geoboard as an award, then he's Howard Liu!
TOP | MOP | JOHN (NOT JOAN) BAEZ#58
If this former MOPper likes to recite Samuel Coleridge out loud like Josh, writes plays and sings and dances, has friends named Arcos and Carlyle, talks about "stuff" in the IMO video, solved hyperdimensional ARML #10 in twenty seconds by visualizing it in his mind, was partially (but not fully) replaced by Austin this year, was a school winner on the AHSME for eight years in a row, lives in New York, and is going to MIT, then he's Lawrence Detlor!
get a new lease on life#59
TOP | MOP | LOS ALAMOS MATHEMATICS ARXIV#60
TOP | MOP | H2 SO4 @ BERKELEY#61
TOP | MOP | A COMPOSITION BY ANDREW#62
Whoops! Guess your feet can't help you here. Try again.
TOP | MOP | ABC DECIDE#62.5
If he surprised the USAMO winners in D. C. saying "Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello," is the IMO secretariat, was Titu before Titu became Titu, and tells MOPpers about flea markets in Korea, then he's Walter Mientka!
"What I'd like to know is who's going to pay for all that Jell-O. The government? Think again, buster. It's me and you. Well, mostly you."
TOP | MOP | OAZ NIR#64
TOP | MOP | THE FERRETT'S DOMAIN#65
TOP | MOP | CHRIS HARDIE#66
If he was the second Po to be at MOP (and on the IMO team), lent crack to George and did laundry with him, argued with Ricky ("Show me where the missing two points are!"), loved taking derivatives because he just took calculus, wanted to learn about Lagrange multipliers, made a MOP logo with Desargues' Theorem, likes synthetic geometry solutions, imitated Dan's "DS" handwriting, went to sleep far too early for his health, called Po-Shen on his birthday (along with everybody else!), won USAMO along with his brother after taking it with both Po and Po, has his own TeX symbol (LeX), made bad puns about asymptotes and hyperbole, liked to keep the thermostat high (though he claims he never puts it over 80), liked the song "Gonna Fly Now," and was a star at Rock-Paper-Scissors (although he had some very close games!), then he's the one and only Po Loh! Oh, wait, no — he's the one and only Po-Ru Loh!
If he was often called a Pokemon, a lion, and the bomb, — and used a bomb for an EOP — studied a lot, verified that 3 is a primitive root of 65537 using his calculator, went to the California MOPper party, used (and proved) Fermat's Last Theorem during the RTC, got mad at David Shin during the last MOP test, won ARML this year, will defect to Candyland (i.e., Phillips Exeter Academy) next year, could be seen playing piano pieces next to David Shin, invented "Dude Theory" during Zuming's Areas lecture, always argued with Yan ("They're so amusing together!" — Shuang), and was anti-Cauchy (much to Yan's dismay), then he is Tiankai Liu! "I am the bomb! ... That is the bomb, man! That is the bomb!"
TOP | MOP | CHE LIVES#69
TOP | MOP | KRISTIN BUXTON#70
TOP | MOP | A FAIR BEVY OF MATH LINKS#71
If he thinks "Drink" and "Mafia" should be played with actual drinks, ran the Harvard-MIT Math Tournament, doesn't keep his underwear in drawers, might help research electronic ink, graded USAMO #3, watched many, many movies late at night, couldn't play Frisbee because he hurt his leg playing Frisbee in college, wears shirts that say "Pforzheimher" almost every day, knew Dan in 1996, gets suspicious looks when he goes into bars, created rules for functional equations, is a big proponent of the majorization inequality (but don't use bunching on your tests!), is convinced that Melanie is evil, and missed class one day (although it wasn't his fault), then he's Alex Saltman!
If he was Ian's roommate and had an alarm clock that woke Ian up instead of him, came late to MOP because of school (and then left early from MOP), is confused with Dani by the Taiwanese girls, makes a good Mafia member, stays up late doing team contest problems, overslept once (along with his roommate), has the same piano teacher as Paul, and played Eleusis and Mao, then he is Daniel Jerison!
game over, play again#73
TOP | MOP | MOP 1998#74
If she had her own ordering, played ping pong with shoes, frequently has an extra "l" mistakenly added to her name, says northern New York is a boring place, wore a MathCOUNTS T-shirt that turned brown in the wash, wrote an amazing mid-plane proof that ended with a comma and got the most 1.0's at MOP ("But most of them were 0 / 1.0's!"), pretended to know the words to Andrew's songs [Even "Gloria"? - Ed.], discussed math problems with Melanie, was one of the two girls at MOP, and was yellow in "Twitch," then she's Alison Miller!
If he couldn't get points for #29 on the second team contest but presented it anyway, paces around in the bathroom during MOP tests, plays calculator games, is obsessed with the zero ring, skipped eighth grade and takes classes at a university, plays Bughouse a lot and calls bishops "biz-hops" and knights "ka-niggits," invented the game "Traitor Chess," and tried to co-organize a Prisoner's Dilemma calculator contest while struggling to make his program evil but not too evil, wondered if the dorm walls were thin enough to play telephone through, tried to teach his roommate Morse Code, and went running early in the morning, then he's Dani Kane!
start it up#76
TOP | MOP | ZENO#77
TOP | MOP | MANDELBROT#78
If he had his 14th birthday in an erratic elevator (making him the youngest MOPper), wrote his own entry in this field guide, came from the "ghettos" of Virginia, has his name confused with his evil impostors Yian and Ian, Cauchys everything in sight (and usually succeeds), wrote the bombastic "egg proof" by Eeeevil Ricky for the RTC, reads Chinese math books, made up the most frequently used rule in Mao (named "Yay"), created a whole parody of "American Pie" named "Lincolnian Pie," is scared of the visiting Taiwanese girls, abducts vets and forces them to teach him math, ran around the second floor half-naked in a toga made of bed sheets, tried to steal Zuming's room, makes fun of and gets made fun of by Tiankai, has weird frisbee throws, taught Alex and Po-Ru the hammer throw, catches every Mafia in Mafia games (even if he is Mafia), gets angry because the Mafia always kills him, has the biggest and smallest ego at MOP, claims to have "mad skillz" in everything from Anagrams to Tiankai-catching, is obsessed with combinatorics, harasses Ricky all the time, and makes "public announcements," then he's Yan Zhang! "You know, cheaters never win unless they cheat a WHOLE lot."
TOP | MOP | ONION#80
D'oh! You've been betrayed. Lose a point and go here.
TOP | MOP | THE FERRETT'S DOMAIN#81
TOP | MOP | LOS ALAMOS MATHEMATICS ARXIV#82
TOP | MOP | JOHN BAEZ#83
If he skipped the Monthlong Outstanding Party for a Rocking Summer In [Massachusetts], drove George home illegally from ARML practice, can't think of complicated things like Goedel's Incompleteness while he's driving, creams MOPpers at SET, works not with apples but with pairs, extended his visit in Nebraska, has a restaurant named after him, held laughing contests at ARML, gave an awesome lecture on Estimating Sums while he visited MOP, and had a perfect 300 index, then he's Gabriel Carroll!
Cool, you can win a million dollars! Visit the Clay Math Institute web site to find out how.
TOP | MOP | ABC DECIDE#85
TOP | MOP | HIERARCHY OF THE ZUCCHINI PEOPLE#86
Melanie not evil? Ha! Go here.
TOP | MOP | USAMTS#87
If this person pretends to be Mafia then gives eloquent speeches defending himself, has trouble being punctual (he has missed his plane and been late to class a total of fifteen times), came last on the Alison Ordering, got a little sick during MOP, has flies infesting his room, attempted to read the Communist Manifesto by Friedrich Engels and Karl Marx during the RTC, can often be seen making deals in Diplomacy, hit his head once and had to use ice cream instead of ice, has a roommate named Josh with whom he stole Zuming's room after they got locked out of their own, and often goes by the name Mario in an Italian accent, then he's Dario Amodei! "Yes, that's me, Dario. Welcome to Dario Kart!"
If this former MOPper is now a Canadian, contributed two problems to the RTC, has a mother too (who's really cool), has a humongous smile, slept like a baby in the IMO video, is Lawrence's favorite roommate, created 3-D Arkanoiid and Asteroids, appears in the 1999 Olympiad Pamphlet, thought USAMO #1 was really hard, is going to Duke with Melanie in the fall, and will be in Korea this summer, he's Dave "Zed" Arthur!
run... run quickly#89
TOP | MOP | NOVAKOVSKI#90
TOP | MOP | GEOMETRY PROBLEM OF THE WEEK#91
Wow, what a cough! Take a taxi to the Lincoln General Hospital and try again.
TOP | MOP | YOUR MOM#92
If he was unaware of Californians invading his room in D. C., recited every third word of "Oh the Places You'll Go" with Ricky and George, confesses that part of him is still an Aussie, thought up rookie problems on a bus ride with Ricky, Paul, and Reid, carried in Alison's luggage on the first day of MOP, wrote the MOP Hall of Fame, was the team leader for Obviousland in the ELMO, proved the Morley-Barton-Liu-Lee-Le Conjecture, kept trying to drop hints to the rookies on the RTC (to George's dismay), overslept once (along with his roommate), lent his protractor to Oaz for all of MOP, held up scorecards like "number of signs with the word 'palimpsest,'" "PRS," and "geese a-laying," took on the role of Yan's big brother, really wanted to go to Maggiemoo's, really, really wanted to see Chicken Run, had no roommate for the first three and last two nights of MOP, and has a name that sounds like "Yian" and "Yan" and gets misspelled in the AMC results, then he's Ian Le!
TOP | MOP | CUT-THE-KNOT#94
TOP | MOP | THE INTEGRATOR#95
C'hi! Maybe you made a mistake. Maybe not. Go here.
TOP | MOP | MIRRORSHADES#97
TOP | MOP | BEN HOWARD!#98
TOP | MOP | COMBINATORIAL GAME THEORY#99
"Santa. You have to make Santa big." -- Ian Le
TOP | MOP | SLASHDOT#100
TOP | MOP | TOM LEHRER#101
TOP | MOP | ARML#102
C'hi! Murk! D'oh! Zuh? Blunk.
TOP | MOP | SLASHDOT#103
TOP | MOP | KEVIN BROWN#104
TOP | MOP | TIM NGUYEN#105
TOP | MOP | FIGHT HUNGER#106
TOP | MOP | JOE FRANK#107
TOP | MOP | BERKELEY MATH CIRCLE#108
TOP | MOP | XAH LEE#109
If this MOPper was voted the Best Pagan God, likes to foil Yan's evil plans, calculated the probabilities of the geographic distribution of MOPpers, finished his second year in ninth grade of home-schooling, started e-groups for the MOP mailing list after Coollist became uncool, wears a fanny-pack around his waist, carries his backpack around everywhere, balances juggling balls on his head, likes to play with his MathCOUNTS calculator, and kept score for all the team contents, then he's Anders Kaseorg!
If he is the author of "When Problems Attack!", was amazed that he made MOP, wears the Barcelona 1992 Lithuania Basketball Team shirt, writes "Damn!" in his proofs, taught Dan and Oaz how to strum a guitar, often plays his guitars sitting in the hallway or with a piano, likes to say obscene French math quotes, really wanted to make a MOP song (and sang, "We will, we will MOP you!" at ARML), wrote a problem on pairwise sums (mod 211), rooms with Tiankai but stole Gabriel's room for the last few days, goes to Lynbrook but likes the people at Foothill more, knows Shuang and Oaz "in real life," helped write and announce the Hall of Fame, got points on the ELMO for random observations, plays with big sticks with Shuang, Melanie, and George, has a '60s mentality, has trouble thinking of offensive questions, and persuaded everybody to play Frisbee outside in the rain, then he's Andrew Dudzik!
follow a different Buddha#111
If he's a guy with funky hair who went to PROMYS (and saw a friend from PROMYS when she passed through Nebraska), got woken up by Yan with number theory questions, pondered x^2 + 7 = 2^k and Fermat primes and the Super-Magic Box and Gaussian integers, worked with Zvezda and Jeremy on the infamous Bulgaria #3, battled both real and imaginary Y(i)an in foos-ball, had kung fu ping-pong serves, was a favorite of the Taiwanese girls, went to the hospital with his roommate Kamaldeep, where he said "Hiiii!" to a crawling baby, had a conversation about careers in math with Zuming in Walgreen's, played piano (jazz, improv, Super Mario Brothers...), and almost proved the Morley-Barton-Liu-Lee-Le conjecture, then he's David Shin! "The smart dumb-ass method? It must be the smart-ass method!"
TOP | MOP | SLOANE#113
TOP | MOP | GASTROPOD!#114
If he knows all the math people in Indiana ("Everybody in math knows each other there," according to Melanie), discusses homework problems with Melanie on the way to MOP, switched seats during his flight to be with other MOPpers, shares a room with the other Mike where they often play Anagrams, usually wears jeans and flannels, was an avid Diplomacy player, had Po-Ru arguing for points on the ELMO, plays ping pong in Selleck, and is an amazing piano player, then he's Michael Catlin! "This is the world's smallest violin, and it's playing just for you."
TOP | MOP | TOOZEDAY KOMIX#116
TOP | MOP | MIKE KEITH#117
It is a nice closet, but I don't think anyone lives there. Try again!
TOP | MOP | YOUR MOM#118
If he has a Star Wars name, got a surprise birthday song sung to him in the Blue Room, is a favorite of the Taiwanese girls, had the nickname "Luke Skyscraper," solved "The Right-Handed Trefoil's Folly" in the RTC with only three derivatives (!), impressed AG-AM with his math and juggling skills, rolled down the steps of the AG-AM lounge when he got problems, calls soda "pop," hears "Use the horse, Luke" often during chess games, and knows Andy Niedermaier, then he's Luke Gustafson!
TOP | MOP | WHEN PROBLEMS ATTACK!#120
Be his name Buxbaum, or Bixby, or Bray
Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
Then it's sad but I'm sorry to say —
You probably have gone down the wrong way.
But if his name is Alex, go here.
TOP | MOP | BOING BOING#121
TOP | MOP | THE COOL PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE OVER HERE...#122
TOP | MOP | RED MEAT#123
If he memorized "Oh the Places You'll Go" (don't stew!), memorized how to win all the Theseus and Minotaur games, memorized all the digits of pi, — oh, wait, no, that's David Stolp — ... if he met his real representative in D. C. and heard a story about Korea, hugged Melanie's pillow during class and a blue pillow during Psychiatrist but lost his own pillow, did magic tricks with cards for AG-AM, knocked on his wall a lot, played "The Lady in Red" with George, was the Coolest Rookie in '99 but was the most eeeeeeevil MOPper in '00, said "Heeey..." to imitate Paul, argued with Po-Ru for one-and-a-half hours over the ELMO, tried to demonstrate topology with Oaz's jacket (it didn't work), played ping pong on his knees... and with his left hand behind his back... and with both hands on the paddle... if he played air hockey except with a ping pong ball and with a pool table, played on a three-person foos-ball team, walked backwards from Bancroft to the dorms, quizzes Ian on the shapes of the 50 states, pondered figure-eights and trefoils in the Blue Room, was an early bird with David Stolp, invented the famous "Rock Strategy" in Rock-Paper-Scissors, went on computers three times a day, invented the evil Egg Problem in the RTC, and didn't follow directions on how to eat a wrap, then he is Ricky (Ini) Liu! "And will you succeed? Yes you will indeed! 98 3/4% guaranteed!"
"Can you hear the poodles sing? Singing the song of angry mutts! It's a high-pitched yap of pedigree dogs Whose mouths will not be shut." — Animaniacs
TOP | MOP | THE FERRETT'S DOMAIN#125
If this MOPper came for his 11th year in a row, wrote #5 on the USAMO and gave a lecture on 7 = 1, wrote the inequalities packet "A < B" as well as a geometry packet, steals Titu's inequalities, plays Twitch really well, is the best Anagrams player, and moved to California this summer, then he's Kiran Kedlaya — and he will look like Ben Kingsley in just five more years.
turn a new leaf#126
TOP | MOP | GENERATINGFUNCTIONOLOGY#127
Pandreescu... Pandreescu... hmmm. Maybe somebody in Oakland known someone by that name. Go here.
TOP | MOP | USAMTS#128
TOP | MOP | SLOANE#129
Not abducted yet? Don't worry, Xit Vono will come tonight. In the mean time, just relax and return to step one.
TOP | MOP | LOS ALAMOS MATHEMATICS ARXIV#618
If this former MOPper is going to SURF at Cal Tech this summer and went to Arizona earlier, loves doing geometry problems, is the oldest of the "Loh achievers," received a phone call on his birthday, had his football on the RTC this year, makes appearances in Zuming's team efforts painting sidewalks, and is the leader of Project ACME, then he's Po-Shen Loh!
Behold. And then, there was light. Yay.
TOP | MOP | ENTROPY8ZUPER#chickenfarm
TOP | MOP | THIS IS THE TITLE OF THIS STORY, WHICH IS ALSO FOUND SEVERAL TIMES IN THE STORY ITSELF#washington
TOP | MOP | ELEUSIS#marx
MANIFESTO OF THE DSHS COMMUNIST PARTY by Groucho Marx and Friedrich Ergot A specter is haunting Davis High School: the specter of Communism. All the powers of old Davisville have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this specter: Principal and Peace Officer, Mansfield and Hernandez, Junior scofflaws and Senior slack-jaws. Where is the party in opposition with posters as nifty as ours? Where the Opposition that has not hurled? Back the branding approach of Communism! Against the more advanced opposition parties, a swell as of reactionary adversaries! Two things result from this Lie: I. It would be really cool if Communism were acknowledged by some DSHS powers to be itself a power. II. It is high time that Commies should openly, in the face of the whole school, guerrilla-publicize their views, their aims, their homicidal tendencies, and meet this cursory tale of the specter of Communism with a manifesto of the party or reasonable facsimile thereof. To this end, Communists of various rationalities have assembled in the quad, and sketched the following manifesto, to be published in the English, Ebonic, and Cockney languages. BOURGEOIS AND PROLES The history of all hitherto existing "society" at DSHS is the history of Class struggles. Senior and Sophomore, Junior and Sophomore, Sophomore and Sophomore, Sophomore and Teacher, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in an evolutionary deconstitution of society at DSHS, or in the common retirement/expulsion of the contending asses. In the earlier epics of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arraignment of our society by various orders, a manifold Graduation of social rank. In ancient Holmes we have attritions, blights, plebeians, knaves; in these Middle Ages, futile lords, vassholes, guilt-masters, gurneymen, apprentices, and Smurfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate Graduations. The modern bourgeois society that has sprouted from the ruins of futile society, has not done away with Class antagonisms. It has but established new Classes, new conditions of oppression, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones. Our epoch, the epoch of the herd, possesses, however, this instinctive feature: it has sanctified the Class antagonisms. Our legacy as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps, into two great Classes directly facing each other -- the shepherds and the sheep. But that is a metaphor for a more patient writer. The gist of it is: We're here, we're weird, get used to it. And red is a pretty cool color.#